Nothing like a good talk
I love being Catholic sometimes. I love the fact that I’m not the most active member of the chaplaincy but I can still walk in and talk to the chaplain about my deepest darkest problems and he’s still obligated to listen to me AND offer me relatively impartial advice. Obviously, some priests are better at that than others, but on the whole, whenever I’ve needed it, I’ve always had a confessor who could shed light on the dark regions of my life.
And so it was yesterday that I went to speak to the chaplain about all the things that have been going on over the last few months and got some interesting perspectives. For one thing, I need to go back to Kinshasa. Maybe not physically but psychologically, I can’t just walk away. For so many years, learning to walk away has been the main lesson of my life. My tendencies to get overly attached to people, places and things was weighing me down. But now, the lesson seems to be sticking it out. I’ve gotten so used to the transience that now I need to learn to stay put and put up with things. So it is with Kinshasa. In many ways, I was brought face to face with my inadequacies out there – the inadequacies of my chosen profession, the inadequacies of my abilities as a young African woman to make a difference out there – and that’s scary. I’ve always believed that I could rise above any challenges that came my way, and Kinshasa was in many ways a reminder that that can’t always be the case, especially outside God. The powerlessness was a starting point I think, for rediscovering the absolute power that comes from having Christ behind me.
So, now we tear apart the old and try to rebuild a new stronger thing in its place.
2 TIm 3:14 “You must keep to what you have been taught and know to be true; remember who your teachers were, and how, ever since you were a child, you have known the holy scriptures – from these you can learn the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith in Jesus Christ”