Day 7: Inconsistent blogging

I apologise. Things have been a little hectic on my end the last couple of days. Where to begin?

Running is quickly becoming the most reliable part of my life. The freedom of the open road, hearing the Voice of God as I push myself to keep going – one step in front of the other, one step in front of the other. I’m actually starting to take real joy in the whole process – even the sweat dripping off my back and my forehead as I work against my own laziness or inertia. Most importantly, I love the thrill of growing closer to God with every step. I’ve actually been mentally adjusting my run to reflect a new attitude to life. I’ve been teaching myself to “run open” i.e. stop hugging my hands so close to my chest when I run because it’s bad for the balance but also I feel like it closes me off to the run and therefore to life. I tell myself as I run “my utmost for His Highest” and I feel that permeating my attitude towards life. So even as things go wrong, I still feel Him watching over me, guiding me and seeing me through the run and through life.

Which is not to say that bad things aren’t happening. They most certainly are. My two biggest interviews for my thesis pulled out within hours of each other. HOURS. I’m so sad, because they would have given me the best insight into my research subject, and while I understand that they’re busy, that doesn’t really help me. I’m still screwed five ways. Still, God’s got it all in control. I have faith – go before me Holy Spirit and sort this mess out! Can a sista get a hallelujah?!

My love life is still pretty non-existent, but I think I may actually be getting comfortable with my singlehood. It’s part of my emerging fierceness. Singlehood is a unique season in life in which I can give so much more to the Most High than other people who are partnered up or in couples. I’m not distracted from giving my Utmost for His Highest in everything that I do. That may sound like a lot of self-consoling, and to be honest, in the past, I think I said this to myself partly to do that. But I’m getting really settled into my singlehood and seeing glory in things that I hadn’t noticed before about the world in which we live. I just spent 6 days in Singapore for no other reason than I could. No more distractions. Keeping my eye on Him and his wonderful plan for me.

Life, after all, is like running. One step in front of the other, one step in front of the other until eventually you build a good comfortable rhythm. And then you work it out. The more time I spend alone the more time I have to think about this and other things. And this morning, as I dug out an old memory of what I planned to do with my life before England, I felt a surge of familiarity, comfort and PEACE. Pure, unassailable peace. Like that moment in the run when you hit your stride.

Can you sense that I’m planning another random trip?

KT, peacef

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